Saying yes to foster care is a big deal, and your feelings about it are real and valid. The first day of foster care can be intimidating.
This post is a human-centered guide to help you feel ready to become a foster parent.
Being ready doesn't mean that you need to have everything figured out before you first placement. You don't need a perfect house, or a perfect plan. But you do need to be flexible and prepared as much as possible.
It is completely normal to begin foster parenting without knowing everything. That is exactly what LifeSpan is there for.
LifeSpan is here for you every step of the way to help you become the best foster parent that you can be. We guide you through the certification process which includes training on trauma-informed parenting practices.
Before a child can possibly be placed in your home, you will go through a home approval process. During the home approval process, your caseworker will help you with getting your home prepared to receive a child. Your home approver will work closely with you to help determine which age, sex and gender would be a good match for you and your family.
It is important that you have the basics for a room, that are age-appropriate, welcoming, and safe. That means things like an empty closet, an empty dresser, a bed. You will also want to have essentials on hand such as clothing in multiple sizes, brand new toiletries and comfort items like stuffed animals.
You will want to take the time to organize your documentation. Make sure you know who to call if something comes up such as your caseworker's contact information and emergency numbers.
Day one with a child in your care will look different each and every time you have a child placed with you. Sometimes, a child may be hyperactive, withdrawn, clingy, or shut down. You should never take the emotions of a child whenever they are first placed personally. Their reaction isn't a reflection of your welcome, or that you aren't doing a good enough job. It is instead a reflection of everything that the child has been through.
A great way to work with a child during their first day with you is through routine, patience, maintaining a calm energy, and showing that you have a stable presence.
Whenever you are welcoming a child into your home, it is important to offer a low-key welcome. If you do a large celebration, this can be very overwhelming for them, especially if you are unaware of difficulties they may have with crowds and sensory issues. You should let them explore your home at their own pace, but it is important to give simple introductions to your home.
You should show the child where their room is, where the bathroom is, where food is, and where any emergency safety items are such as a landline phone, or a fire extinguisher if there were an emergency.
When possible, you should offer simple choices. For example, what would you like for dinner: choice a or b? Limiting the number of options takes the pressure off the child to make a complicated decision. Even the littlest choices can help a child build trust with you. Don't expect to earn their trust on day one. Just begin the process of showing the child that you are safe and consistent.
Foster parenting can be scary to begin, but you aren't alone. You have training available, your caseworker will check in with you often and are available on call 24/7. There is a community of other foster families available to you in the LIfeSpan Family Support Group.
Becoming a foster parent isn't just a role, it is a calling. And it just may be calling for you.
The first day with a foster child in your home doesn't have to go perfectly, it just has to happen. If you have been wondering if you could truly become a foster parent, you probably can. No pressure. No commitment. Just honest conversation. Get in touch with LifeSpan Family Services today to get started on your journey into foster parenting.
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