Understand What's Really Going On‍

\Whenever a child is exhibiting jealous behaviors, this not always just them being bad. A lot of times, jealously is exhibited by children as a way for them to feel secure. You should be careful to treat kids fairly, but not always equally. Every child has their own specific needs, and it is important to always acknowledge that. You should avoid labeling any of your children as the 'difficult' child, even if one exhibits behaviors that are seen as challenging to deal with.

Everyday Habits That Prevent Jealousy Before It Starts

There are some daily habits that can help prevent jealously between siblings before it even begins. For example, if you are careful to give each child one-on-one time, this can help them feel loved and increase their security at home. You should praise the effort that each child exhibits, without picking a favorite. For example, if one child wins a spelling bee, but your other child receives a high grade on a school project you should be sure to show equal praise. It is also important to remind the children that they are equally loved, even if you are unable to spend equal amounts of time with them. It is also important to make sure the each child feels heard, and cared for, and to know that they are cared for.

When Conflict Happens: How to Respond in the Moment

Before a fight can escalate between siblings, it is important to step in early. But, that doesn't mean you should always get involved! If children are just having minor bickering, it is important to give them space to help them repair their connection, and to regulate themselves, instead of playing judge. Whenever you are acting as a judge, it can make one child feel as though you have picked a favorite, so this should try to be avoided as much as possible. Also, instead of teaching the children to apologize to each other, you should teach them how to repair their connections, and to work to the base of their issues past just a basic sorry. You can help them solve their problems together, and set proper boundaries and rules for the kids. Set clear rules, including only using your words whenever you are in an argument, and never raising a hand to each other.

Building Long-Term Sibling Connection

You can help strengthen long-term sibling connection in a lot of ways. By showing your kids media that models healthy and fun sibling relationships, you can give them strong examples of how siblings should act, and how strong their connection can be. You may also help them read books about sibling jealousy, and sibling connections so that they undertsand how to work through their issues. You should also notice their kind moments and point them out instead of only negative moments. For example, "You are doing such a good job sharing with your brother!", or, "Thank you for helping your sister clean up your room!" 

Our caregivers use these tools for their children every day. If you are considering becoming a foster parent, or you already navigating a multi-kid household, you don't have to figure this out alone. Get in touch with LifeSpan today if you are interested in learning mroe about becoming a foster parent.

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